Differences

Why do people disagree on things, and what effects do these disagreements cause in the lives of these people?

We are sure to get opportunities as we show ourselves capable of being trusted.

Roy L. Smith

Another emotional outburst in 3..2..1..

I have reached 20 followers, over 300 visitors and over 800 hits! Seemingly meager statistics to any seasoned and veteran writer, but to me, it would mean a lot if I was able to leave an impact on just one reader. The fact that over 300 people have read my work is completely surreal. The reason I keep on mentioning the importance of impacting just one member has a strong basis behind it (which “coincidentally” allows me to segue into the topic in an extremely subtle yet smooth way). All the readers who personally know me might agree with me when I say that I am not very ahead in the race of being the most persuasive person out there. As a matter of fact, I might not even be in the race. I might be running the race the other way around, wherein I don’t try to persuade people at all.

I have my reasons for that, but I’ll overtly state that at times I am extremely envious of the people who are actually effective at persuasion and good negotiators. Being a good persuader has its own fair share of plus points. Especially the field that I have ventured in, that is the management field, people make sure to rub this fact in faces of people like me. But that’s besides the point. The reason I brought this topic up is a basic question. Why do people have the need to negotiate? What is the requirement of disturbing two completely balanced lives by starting up a conversation we know buds from a difference of opinion? (This brings me to the reason of my envy, which is I always have to pay 30 bucks for a Rupees 20 auto ride due to my inability strike up a conversation mentioned above. )

The straight answer that I conveyed in my follow-up question is two-fold. 

• To optimize profits of one of the parties involved (be it in monetary terms or maintain fairness).
• Or to reduce the losses of any of these above mentioned parties.

These two points mentioned are completely in materialistic terms, which are in order to improve the productivity of a given decision. Now, let’s take a look at the behavioral aspect of it. We negotiate due to our inability to sync up thought processes with every one we deal with, which is by design I might add. We all are designed and programmed in certain ways, and these ways are based on a multitude of factors (which include, but are not limited to our thoughts, values, beliefs, emotional and intelligence quotients). However, the point I want to highlight here is that not one negotiation I have seen has ended with both parties a 100 per cent satisfied.

This lack of satisfaction leads to us to the name of the article, differences. But now, I’m not referring to a differences in opinions, I am referring to behavioral differences, which lead to a lack of communication and expression of true feelings. In certain situations, it becomes extremely imperative that there is a free flow of thoughts (a glaring example being today’s corporate world). However, due to aforementioned differences, there develops a gap in the channel, which leads to less effective processes and proportionately less productivity. As the materialistically driven bots that we are (which is again some food for thought) doesn’t it seem a bit counter-intuitive that what stemmed from our desire to improve productivity, when stripped down to its nitty-gritty, resulted in reduced productivity?

We discussed the reason for my envy for being a more effective negotiator. If that didn’t sound illogical enough, listen to my way of dealing with situations like these. Withdrawal. I agree with what the general consensus has to say, not because I actually agree with it. I do so because I become very indifferent to the situations that involve group dynamics. Is it the optimal way to be dealing with such situations, I highly doubt that. However, one thing there is no doubt about is there is no conflict that I give rise to.

How do I improve the productivity of the group then? The answer is I don’t. I am a firm believer in self-improvement. So when I sense a conflict in the group, I try to quickly resolve it, and improve my personal productivity, knowing that that’s the only thing I’m truly in control of. I do so not because I prefer solitude (which I do by the way, and I’ll talk about it some other time). I do so because I love the feeling of being dependable. And the main reason I love this feeling is the trust I have my ability. However, the driving point here is that we live in a world where outsourcing is the trend. So, we have outsourced the duty to quantify our credibility to external sources.

The main question to ask here is should we actually be doing that, and if not, what should we do?

I’ll tell you what has worked for me. Backward integration has worked for me (I have hereby accomplished my goal of using a management jargon in a general conversation). I have taken control to realize that I am solely credible enough to quantify my credibility, my ability to get stuff done!

So, let’s all try more to gain this control over our lives, and not just do so because we read it somewhere, but because that is the smartest thing to do. And I believe this is a group discussion that would go in an extremely unanimous direction.

Thanks a lot for your time and effort to read the whole thing. If you like it, please share it with someone who you think might benefit from reading this. Also, please let me know of any topic you’d like me to write about in the comments section. Until next time, stay awesome and stay happy. 🙂