Exceptional

If there is one word that can describe the current circumstances being faced not just by us individually, but on a global scale, it is “exceptional”. So, let’s take a moment to try and think about some curious facets of this word and how we can use it (or not use it) to make our lives better.

“Exceptionalism” is a shared self-description of imperial forms and . . . every empire imagines itself an exception.

-Ann Laura Stoler

As children of the modern age, most of us have been exposed to an assortment of content through a plethora of sources; books, movies, the internet and whatnot. Every piece of mythology, or fiction that we can come across gives us a few key pieces to every story. Invariably, there is this one character, whom we generally term the “hero”.

One day, given my current place in the unemployment line and hence an immense abundance of time at my hands, I got to wondering, why is it that only a finite proportion of the numerous personalities presented do we distinctly look at? And why is it that we only like to distinctly look at the “hero”?

We can go about talking about the various qualities that heroes possess, but let’s be honest, the qualities for which we can markedly recognize them would differ for all of us. Because in the end, there are different perspectives that each one of us has. However, the one thing that we can all truly agree upon is we like to look up to someone because they have something that stands out from the general population.

Simply put, we like to look up to people that we consider exceptional. The attributes for which we find them exceptional could be different for all of us, but universally, the said quality of these people is something that sets them apart from the crowd. And rightfully so, it was also hypothesized by psychologist Jean Piaget. Even babies only focus their attention on something when it is out of the ordinary.

Another interesting facet of this word, which we, whether we like it or not, have all been guilty of doing more than once in our lifetimes. It is that in our minds we like to think of ourselves as exceptional, and if not exceptional, different from others, for the most part.

How many of us have taken a shot at a puzzle that other people, who introduced us to it were unable to solve? How many of us have tried to lift a heavy rock that all our friends had attempted to lift before us and failed to do so? How many of us have taken a challenge that we were given to do which other people had told us was something that they weren’t able to accomplish?

I believe most of us would have answered in the affirmative for any or all of the aforementioned questions that applied to us. And there is a subliminal reason behind us taking up all those activities. Unless we on some level figured that we would be able to do those things, we won’t take them up. And this in turn supports the belief that we have, that we are different from others, since they couldn’t do it and we could.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this belief, I completely agree. I mean, if we don’t have faith and confidence in ourselves, what would be the reason that the world would have it? All throughout our lives, we have been told, in order to accomplish anything in life the first thing that is required is belief in oneself.

Life, however, has this weird law that it functions on. Everything is rhythmic. Things flow in and out of place all the time. So when all is well and good, when everything works for us, this exceptionalism helps us feel immensely powerful. But what happens when things flow out of place?

Someone who is different from the crowd, or has conditioned oneself to think that one is, logically, would face problems that are different from those that the crowd experiences, am I right? No? Let me exemplify. How many times do we catch ourselves saying this; “Oh, you won’t understand what I’m going through”?

This exceptionalism, which has the power to make us feel untouchable and unbeatable, also has the power to make us feel completely vulnerable and powerless. The only thing that alters this impact is the external circumstances and our perception of the effect that they have on our lives.

This begs the questions, Should we not feel that we are remarkable and exceptional individuals? Should we accept the fact that if someone else couldn’t accomplish something, even we won’t be able to? I don’t know. But I think there has to be a way to balance the extreme confidence and the extreme despair that accompanies this feeling of exceptionalism.

(Keep your tomatoes ready if you must)

My humble opinion is; what makes us exceptional is not the fact that we don’t face the problems that the normal person does, but it is how effectively we overcome these problems. So, it’s okay if we have to  classify ourselves as “one of many” from time to time.

It’s okay to ask for help in a time when all seems hopeless. It’s okay to take any steps that help us alleviate ourselves of the suffering. What is not prudent, is to not do something just because everyone else is doing it, even when it would be beneficial for us.