#94. Comparison

Today, we take a deep look at our deep desire to keep up with the Joneses, as they say. Why do we buy more stuff than we need? Why do we need to get our hands on anything new that comes out? And finally, why is our social image so important in today’s day and age?

Comparison is a thug that robs your joy. But it’s even more than that – Comparison makes you a thug who beats down somebody – or your soul.

– Ann Voskamp

Ever heard the statement: “We spend money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t know”? The most affluent of people have made this statement (or something to this effect) at one stage or the other. Jim Carrey, Will Smith and Keanu Reaves have highlighted the benefits of having a minimalist lifestyle, through their words, and in the case of Mr. Wick, through his lifestyle.

Despite all of this, most of us spend our entire lives in pursuit of the latest gadget or designer bag that is dominating the market. We look for everything flashy, blingy and exorbitantly expensive to add to our repertoire of owned items. And today, we hear all sorts of rationales to justify these purchases, ranging from “I need this”, “I am a shopaholic” all the way to “This is retail therapy man“. But this begs the question, which in my opinion is the elephant in the room.

Why?

Why is it that every time the smallest upgrades happen to existing tech, we flock and herd to stores to get our hands on it, even when the upgrade is as small as camera positioning?

Here is what I have come to conclude: How others perceive us matters to us.

We live in a world that is governed with how others perceive us. The reflection we consciously or unconsciously give of ourselves determine how valuable or worthless we will be perceived to others. This gave rise to a culture of comparison at a very early age in the human existence. For example, in the stone age, someone who appeared to be unreliable would be shunned off into exile, while older people would still be kept around due to the wisdom they had gained over the years in their lives.

And consequently, we feel that buying the latest technology, clothing or luggage will make us more desirable and valuable in front of others, and we would hopefully not be shunned to social exile.

Now that we have established the reason for our inflated lifestyles being our perception in front of others, I want to go another level deeper and ask a unique question.

Why?

Why does our perception in front of others matter so much?

Well, I would again like to share my two cents on this subject.

The modern world is obviously considerably different than the stone age. The propagation of information in the stone age was glacial (no pun intended), and consequently, people would find asylum in different societies, as long as they were not an apparent threat to it. Information travels at the speed of light and consequently our perceptions travel at the speed of light as well. So, to remain constantly up to date and “socially relevant” we need to invest in necessities which at one point were luxuries.

The underlying assumption, which can easily be missed, unless we read between the lines is what I would love to talk about today.

The main reason we work so hard on our impressions we make on others is comparison. Hear me out.

Deep down, we all have this nagging feeling of being subjected to comparison with others. We want to be considered more valuable than others to be able to deserve things that we find valuable. And given that we are social animals, we constantly evaluate ourselves against others and try to prove ourselves more worthy than others in the society.

One thing, however, we fail to understand is that

Comparing ourselves with others is like shooting at a moving target

Think about it, the only thing we have in our control is our own mind and consequent actions. Everything else is external. The actions that others take to make themselves appear better is out of our control. And at some point, we need to take a step back and evaluate:

Does buying more stuff really make me more desirable?

“Comparison is the thief of joy” is something we have heard all throughout our lives. Now is the time to remember this by heart, and forever.

In no way am I saying that comparison is a bad thing by a landslide. Not at all. Comparison to a degree is essential for the growth of the human race. But in my very humble opinion, the only comparison we need to regularly make is with our past selves.

If you stuck around this far, thank you for your time. If you enjoyed this, share this with one friend of yours whom you think will benefit from reading this. Thanks for reading, and I will see you in the next one. 🙂