120. Why You Feel Invisible (and Why That’s Okay)

Why is life unfair?

This is a question we have all asked ourselves at some point.

At school, there is one brat who is given the place you deserved.

At work, someone you know doesn’t work half as hard as you do gets promoted.

On the road, that one swerving car seems to be moving far ahead of you, while you do the right thing by staying in your lane.

I have been writing articles on this website for over 8 years now. I am here, toiling every week, writing my heart out, sharing ideas and thoughts with everyone.

Then, a random influencer blasts onto my feed, shaking their ass for a million likes. Eight years of my ‘toiling’ feels invisible next to ten seconds of their performance.

Why is life so unfair to me?

Who says life is fair, where is that written?”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

I will not lie, I have had this question spring up in my mind every now and then. It sometimes becomes difficult to justify the time and energy I put into things. Maybe it would be easier to sit down, give up and do what actually gives me results. Maybe I should start shaking my ass on social media for reactions.

Well, that is not who I am, and I don’t think me doing that would even garner that big a reaction. I will do what I always do.

I will attempt to decipher this chain of thought, dissect it from a few angles and share perspective to stop resentment before it starts.

1. Acceptance

Okay, life is unfair. Now what?

What can you do about it?

Exactly what a hibernating bear does: Jack shit.

None of what we are trying to control with this chain of thought is in our control.

We cannot control what the teacher does.

We cannot control the promotion criteria.

We cannot control the flow of traffic on the road.

What we can control, is how we actually respond to all of these occurrences, knowing we cannot do anything about it.

There is this very nice flow chart that visualises what I mean.

We only control ourselves, if even that. So relax.

2. Ego

This thought of life being unfair to me is solely from a place of ego. The underlying assumption with this thought is that the “me” in this is so important, that it is almost entitled to get what it desires.

A healthy sense of self is a must, I agree. One is just as important as their neighbour. But if that is the case, everyone should be afforded equal opportunity.

Because life is unfair, there are people who may be even more deserving than we are, but cannot access the resources we can. That could be due to a physical disadvantage, social disparity or financial constraints.

Remember, we are always more privileged than we believe ourselves to be.

There is a less philosophical way to look at this notion also.

YouTubers get paid more than doctors.

Cricketers get paid more than scientists.

So this means someone who can save lives deserves less financial compensation than a video creator?

And here I am, cribbing about my writing being invisible. This puts things into perspective, at least for me. This turns my mind from complaining to gratitude.

And hence, I shall continue writing, knowing well that I will never win the reactions battle against the dancing influencers. And to be honest, I am not even competing with them. The world is a huge place, and if they can have their place, I can have mine.

And so can you.