Losing grip

In case life is running on its own, give this one a read, and hopefully, we’ll be able to “grip” it back into control.

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
– Maya Angelou

A little observation, and people will realize that it’s been the longest interval between my articles. 22 days. The reason is, I have recently embarked upon a new adventure in my life, on a quest to earn a management diploma. I’m not going to lie, the past two weeks have been pretty hectic. Long hours, tedious processes and what not. But, the little devil in my skull has yet again managed to figure out yet another “Facet of life”. This is for all of us who have been inundated with work, subjects, duties, responsibilities and anything else that has overwhelmed us in our entire lives.

I’m pretty sure, most of us at a point in time have wondered “Only if the situation was in my control.. I would’ve”… fill in the blank. I have an example. Not very long ago, I was driving from a friend’s house to mine. On the way, there was a car, jumping lanes left and right at a very high speed. I guess you all have extrapolated a bit (FYI, it did not crash. I know, disappointing, right?). It came too close for comfort to my car, and my response was, “If only it was up to me, I would’ve taught this guy a lesson.” (FYI again, the language was not as sophisticated as I’ve written.).

“But it’s not, is it?”, was my response to my own statement. It was very profound, close to a discovery for me, a “Eureka!” moment. We always hear people talk about, “It’s meaningless to fret over a situation which happens to be out of control for you.“. But this time, it actually meant something to me, because it came to me, instead of me looking for it.

Everyday, we encounter situations where it’s out of our control, but we tend to eat ourselves up over it. A part of it is very superficial, like a favorite sports team losing, the comments of a celebrity that contradict your beliefs, someone’s comments on your personal business. Our responses are generally something to the effect of the following:

• “I can’t believe this, this is the cause of (insert random reason to blame a team here)”
• “I can’t believe he said that. He is a famous person, his views shouldn’t be so irrational”
• “How can he spew this nonsense about me?”

And so forth.

Let’s just analyze these responses, better yet, reactions.

• Were we going to gain something, apart from momentary pleasure, if our team won? and also, is the loss this big of a deal that we suddenly start to question their dedication towards their craft?
• Okay, a famous person said something wrong (wrong still has a question mark around it, is there a probability that we could be wrong? Just food for thought). We all make mistakes, don’t we?
• If we think about what others think about us, what will the others think about? (Complex, I know).

We tend to cloud our mind with everything we cannot control. Wouldn’t it be wise for us to focus a little bit more on what we can actually control? Control our behaviors, our reactions our emotional susceptibility to situations, would that be better for our mental health?

If one was to ask me, I would answer yes. I cannot control the rash driver, but what I can control was saving my car, and enjoying one of the most treasured things of my life, a solo drive. I cannot control the victory of my favorite sports team, but I can control my admiration of the ability of the players on that team. I cannot control the statement of the celebrity, but I can control the mindset that he is a human being and not immune to making mistakes. I cannot control the other person making snide comments about me, but I can control not caring about it and focusing on my journey.

So, let’s give this a try the next time, let’s try to detach ourselves from a situation and figure out what we can actually control about it. I’m sure we’d all be surprised with the level of freedom we’d experience once we try it.

Thanks a lot for your time and effort to read the whole thing. If you like it, please share it with someone who you think might benefit from reading this. Until next time, stay awesome and stay happy. 🙂